The Gifts of Cancer

On Monday, October 7th, the University of Georgia Zeta Tau Alpha sorority chapter hosted a Breast Cancer Survivors Dinner. My sweet niece, Kate Good, invited me to attend and speak. I was honored and humbled to be surrounded by such amazing survivors.

Here is what I shared:

I want to start by thanking Kate Good, my beautiful niece, and Zeta Tau Alpha for working so hard to support breast cancer education and awareness. It is an honor to be invited to speak today and to be surrounded with fellow "thrivers."

Today I want to talk to you about the gifts of cancer, but first, I will share a summary of my cancer journey:

Growing up in Wisconsin, I felt very aligned with my Christian up-bringing and midwestern values. I later moved as a teenager to sunny Daytona Beach, Florida with my parents. Now a self-proclaimed Floridian, I also consider myself a world traveler. Although I had a few international trips under my belt as a teenager and young adult, I truly "earned my wings" when I took a job as an international admissions counselor for a private aerospace university starting in 2010. Despite the grueling schedules and physical demands of the job, I felt passionate about helping international students come to the U.S. to pursue their college dreams. The global travel was thrilling and rewarding and took me to over 50 countries in 12 years. Also, and more importantly, I met my future husband, and his two beautiful daughters eleven years ago. After dating for a few years, we were married and his family became my family, and they have brought so much joy and meaning to my life. In many ways, I thought I was entering my 40s having it all figured out…

But, just a few days before my 40th birthday in February of 2021, I learned that the lump I had discovered during a breast self-exam was malignant. The diagnosis of hormone positive, stage II cancer would mean surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I was devastated and shocked. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I knew the demands of my international recruitment job would make the treatment even more challenging than they already were, or maybe even impossible. After discussions with my husband, I made the brave decision to leave my secure university job to work at my husband’s environmental engineering business. It has been one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life, allowing me more autonomy, more time with my family, and financial freedom.

After initially resisting my diagnosis, I realized that the only thing I could control was how I live my life from this moment on. Being in the present moment was, and is, the new goal. After several weeks, I fully accepted my diagnosis and I threw myself into scientific research articles, learning about everything from conventional medical treatments, to nutrition, and exercise. Determined to treat my whole self, I sought alternative treatments during radiation and chemotherapy, such as acupuncture, Chinese medicine, massage, shamanic journeying, tapping, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which is associated with a reduction in the emotion associated with traumatic events. It led to a life change, including how and what I eat, how I move my body, how I love, how I stress, how I meditate, and how I work.

These are the gifts of cancer that no one talks about. From the moment I was diagnosed, I had a strong belief that I would find a deeper meaning in why this was happening.

Here are just a few of the many gifts of my cancer journey that I would like to share with you:

1. I know that my life is not infinite, and I work to make peace with my own mortality. Grief opens a portal to heal old traumas and access acceptance to mortality. I’m grateful for the opportunity to closely examine my life and heal my past traumas.

2. I do not take life for granted. As my favorite author Glennon Doyle says:

"Crisis means to sift. Let it all fall away, and you'll be left with what matters. What matters most cannot be taken away."

Cancer has sifted away things that no longer matter so that I can focus on the things that do.

3. The most important thing in your life is your connection to family and friends. Nothing will ever matter more than your relationships. When I was diagnosed, I couldn't believe the love, support, cards, letters, gifts and genuine outreach I felt from my friends and family.

4. I worry less. That doesn’t mean that I’ve learned to not worry, but I’m aware and mindful of my worry in a way that I was not before I was diagnosed with cancer. I truly work on being present through meditation and yoga, and when you are in the present moment, worrying naturally falls away.

5. I travel every chance I get. By pure coincidence/fate, I was lucky enough to find a non-profit organization dedicated to adventure healing trips for young women who have been diagnosed with cancer in their 20s, 30s and 40s. After three trips with the iRise Above Foundation, I have a new community of best friends who have been through a similar breast cancer healing journey. I am so grateful for these connections, the travel and the adventure.

Today, I am happy to say that I am not only surviving, but I am also thriving.

I will leave you with one final quote that was my guide, and still is my guide, when life throws me a curve ball.

These final wise words are again from Glennon Doyle:

"Just do the next right thing one thing at a time. That'll take you all the way home.”