Shift Happens

It has been a while since I blogged... Almost four months! It's not that I haven't thought of writing. I just didn't really know what to say. That is, until I read this poem this morning:

It reminded me that I do have something to say. I just needed some time to process how to say it. At the beginning of a new year, we often process what may lay before us as we start a new chapter. Last year (2022), it was very clear to me that the year would hold copious amounts of "healing". In fact, that was the word that I meditated on throughout the year. Then 2023 was upon us, and I didn't know what my "word" or my mantra would be. I ultimately settled on "light" as the word kept coming up in everything I read and listened to. I have certainly meditated on this word over the last four months, but now there is another feeling/word emerging...

Shift.

I feel a strong shift. A strong urge to hold onto these new healthy patterns, feelings and daily thoughts that I tell myself. Something new is emerging. It's not that the start of this year has been easy. It has been anything but dull. It has included fostering three foster dogs (Not at the same time and two of which were 6-week-old puppies. If you are wondering if I'm crazy, yes, yes, I am.). The experiences were challenging but also filled a void in my heart that I didn't know was there. I had an incredibly soul filling trip to Machu Picchu with my husband that was nothing less than a spiritual adventure. On that trip, I developed a painful lump on my neck that was beyond frightening. I felt like I was on top of the world (literally) until I wasn't. Humbling to say the least. I called my doctor from Peru to set up an appointment for as soon as I returned. After a traumatizing few days of rethinking what I would do if it turned out this was a sign of cancer returning, I was only half assured by an ultrasound that it was simply "reactive lymph nodes." After waiting an entire day for results, my doctor had the audacity to text me that SHE was not worried about it. Well, good. As long as SHE is not worried about it. Sigh. Needless to say, I'm searching for a new doctor that will be a little bit more engaged on my wellness journey. We had lovely friends from Portugal spend a few days with us laughing, contemplating life's meaning, strolling through lovely gardens and filling up my heart to the brim with that friendship buzz that only comes from true friends. At the same time, I was also seriously contemplating another friendship that wasn't working for me anymore. The energy has shifted, and things don't "fit" anymore. My new career, over the last year, has allowed me to remove so much stress and drama from my life. There is no longer room for the negativity that I used to experience via co-workers that I couldn't escape from. My tolerance for negativity, selfishness, snarkiness, or bad energy is non-existent.

But this isn't meant to be a post to capture what has happened in my life over the last few months. It's simply to say that it has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Such is life.

My heart is still tender and healing from the trauma of cancer. But a new feeling is emerging. I'm not sure if I have the word that comes after "shift." But I feel it in my bones. The new word is about to reveal itself. I feel a weight lifting. I feel the clouds parting, and I'm wondering what is going to be on the other side. I'm waiting with great anticipation.

As I prepare to go on my second iRise breast cancer retreat starting next week, I'm grateful for what I might uncover while surrounded by fellow badass women who have overcome some enormous struggles, heartbreak and pain. The healing waters of Baja, Mexico will likely do a world of good for a group of women who are searching for answers, connection and healing.

So, with that said, do you have a word that is emerging for you? Share in the comments below.

I hope you are also feeling a positive shift.

Namaste.